As he left today my supervisor asked if I felt overwhelmed. I said no, that I had in the morning but that I felt better now. Which was true, but that is different than feeling okay. How do I verbalize that it isn't that I feel overwhelmed, rather, I feel disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself, in my inability to do what I should be able to do. In my frustration. In my desire to cry after things go wrong. In how apathetic or boring I must seem because I don't express emotion or response. How inadequate I feel and not to mention the part of me that is comparing myself to other-intern who I feel is probably perfect and bubbly.
Some days I just feel like I'm not good enough. Like I made a bad choice. A mistake. A really, really expensive mistake.
7 years ago
2 comments:
I really don't think you made a mistake. And dude, the comparing yourself to the other intern is a bad path! That's what happened between Rachel and I at ACDHS and it made things crappy for a few months. Maybe more than a few. It's good that we ended up friends, though.
I wish there were something I could say that would help, but I don't think there is. You'll work it out, and it'll either get better or suck until it ends. I'm hopeful that it'll get better!
I hear what you're saying. It would probably be better to feel overwhelmed than that you aren't doing a good job. Try not to be disappointed with yourself. You're new at this whole school counseling thing! Cut yourself a little more slack.
The mistakes we make build our fate:)
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