Once the pathetic self-pity began to lift (okay, as it is beginning to lift) I have tried to gain some (not really) perspective & find the, er, close-to bright side of it all. That is to say that I have found some of the the perks of being pathetic & depressed.
My Top 8 Are Below (not in any particular order):
1. You get to see more sunrises. (on account of the insomnia)
2. You get a little high school summer-time flashback by sleeping until 11 or 12! (on account of the awake 'til sunrise 5 nights in a row)
3. Weight loss! I have lost at least 4 pounds in less than a week. Even if when I do eat it is primarily crap (sans Kyle making me eat real dinners most nights), I hardly eat at all - so that is a TOTAL plus. (granted I am just storing fat & losing muscle, but I have SO little muscle to lose that it has to be some of the chubbiness falling off -- so says my jeans at least)
4. You catch up on your "stories" - even if they are complete seasons of shows that you have watched over & over, it's okay! Now you can pick up on ALL the nuances you missed the first (second, or third) time(s) around!
5. You really catch up on facebook. Because there is not really enough of that in the average day, this way you can seem like the crazy status post-er that you always aspired to be.
6. (and this one is important) You renew your love for music from your youth, like listening to The Cure, Depeche Mode, & Morrisey.
7. You have more time to devote to your obsession with Nathan Fillion (or insert the name of your favorite actor).
8. You improve the healthiness of your skin & hair because you stop putting on make-up or styling your hair with product, blow drying & a straightener. (who needs that stuff when depressed? No one. It is really oxy moronic to be truly pathetic & depressed AND look nice. I guess if you're leaving the house you can smack on some lipstick, but really isn't nearly 20 years of making an effort to prettify before leaving the house enough?)
There are probably more, but all this cheeriness is really exhausting. I should save something to do at 3am.
**Like the Phoenix I'll rise again! Wait, I don't want to do that. The damn bird has to burn to death first! Although he has the whole rebirth, renewal, immortality thing going, so that's cool.**
10 months ago